god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
