So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
