you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
