You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
