if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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