I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
