FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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