The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
