you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
