Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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