I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
