I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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