I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
