he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i need some magic done to my vagina
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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