She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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