She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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