Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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