He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
