What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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