He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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