so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
