i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
