in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
