if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We are two peas in an std pod
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
