we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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