Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
