I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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