are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
