I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
