so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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