we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize