we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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