the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
