No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
