I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
How does one acquire holy water?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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