I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
