marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize