Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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