Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize