we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize