I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
