My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
