there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
