Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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