...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She's just so happy...and so naked.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize