i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
