She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize