why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
