im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
