I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
