oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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