i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
