As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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