Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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