You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
