i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
