When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
