i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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