Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
tell me about the fingering
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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