Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
